Gospel Friends

Over the last several months I’ve had several conversations with several friends who are struggling with anger. Some of them realize how angry they are and some of them don’t but the common thread that runs through their situations is that they have been deeply hurt by someone they love.  My heart breaks for my dear friends and I long for their healing.

As I have prayed for them and for wisdom to know how to encourage them and bear with them in their struggle God has graciously showed me that what they (and I) need when struggling with anger is not law – what we should be doing, but the Gospel –all that God has done for us through Christ. I don’t know about you but I’ve never been able to get over being angry with someone by telling myself to STOP being angry or by blaming the other person for my anger or by pretending I’m not angry. 

I know that healing comes when we live in the light of the whole Gospel. When God opens our hearts, we see

·         Just how much He loves us, how good and gracious He is

·         Just how sinful (prideful, self-righteous and demanding) we are

·         That He sympathizes with our weaknesses and understands our pain

·         That either Christ died for that sin that was committed against us because that person is a child of God or that sin will be avenged by the justice of God because she isn’t a child of God

·         That the bonds of sin have been broken by the death of Christ so we do not have to go on sinning – that is go on being angry

·         That He is sovereign and rules over all so this situation isn’t out of His control but He has orchestrated it for our good and His glory

Seeing Jesus and His glorious work is the only power strong enough to transform our anger but how do you articulate these truths of the Gospel to someone who is hurting? How do you love a friend so that she understands you sympathize with her pain and anger but you won’t let her wallow in it? How can we be Gospel Friends?

Oh Heavenly Father, may we be so rooted and grounded in your love that the Gospel- all that you have done for us through Christ, flows freely in our conversations. Teach us how to be Gospel friends proclaiming your love, grace and mercy to one another every day so that when we are blind to our sins (and we will be) we are instruments of righteousness in each other’s lives.

Consumed with the Word of God

This weekend Danny and I had the privilege of sending some time with a delightful couple who we love and respect very much. The thing that amazes me the most about them is how the Word of God is a natural part of their conversations. It’s not forced or stiff but it’s also not “syrupy sweet.”  They don’t use it to condemn or judge but to build up and encourage.    I believe the Word of God flows naturally in their conversations because they are consumed with it.  They read it, study it, memorize it, meditate on it, delight in it and discuss it freely because it is sweeter than honey to them.  They love the Word of God! and it shows!

What a blessing these dear friends are to Danny and I. My heart is overflowing with gratitude for their love, pastoral care and Godly wisdom.

Hope

Some days you realize that the only hope we have is found in all that God has done for us in Christ.

Without Him we are
1. dead in our sins,
2. walking in the ways of the world, 
3. indulging in the desires of flesh
4. living as children of wrath.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loves us
1. has made us alive togehter with Christ
2. raised us up with Him
3 seated us with Him in the heavenly places
4. brought us near to Him by the blood of Christ
5. created us to do good works which He has prepared before the foundation of the world

Amen!

A Way to Pray

A Way to Pray is my new favorite book. It is Matthew Henry's book A Method for Prayer written in 1710  that has been revised and updated by O. Palmer Robertson. "This work consists almost entirely of Scripture, arranged under various headings, to help Christians pray in harmony with the truth of God, revealed in His word."

" O Lord our God, you are so great. you are clothed with honour and majesty. You cover yourself with light as with a garment. Yet to us you make darkness your pavilion. We do not know how to approach you because of the darkness that veils your essence.
You are light, and in you is no darkness at all. You are the Father of lights. In you there is no inconsistency. You do not change like shifting shadows. You are love, and those who dwell in love dwell in you, and you in them. Every good and perfect gift comes from you. You are the blessed and only potentate, King of kings and Lord of lords. You alone are immortal. You live in light which no man can approach. No man has ever seen you, or can see you." 1 John 1:5, James 1:17, 1 John 4:16, 1 Tim 6:15,16, Psa. 104:1, 2;18:11 Job 37;19

Wait for the Lord

 Did you know that the word “wait” occurs 90 times in 86 verses in the NASB and 24 of those occurrences are in the Psalms and 23 of the 24 occurrences refer in some way to waiting on God? I didn’t either until I did a little research on it.  Here are a few of my favorite verses from the Psalms about waiting

·         Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!         (Psalm 27:14 )

·         Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.  (Psalm 37:7)

·         Wait for the LORD and keep His way, and He will exalt you to inherit the land, when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.  (Psalm 37:34)

        

·         I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, and in His word do I hope. (Psalm 130:5)

I’m not good at waiting; I like to have a plan, to know where I’m going and how I’m going to get there. To me waiting seems like a waste of time so when I came across the chapter “Learn to Wait” in Paul Tripp’s book “Broken-Down House” I was challenged to see waiting in a new way. Here are a few things Pastor Tripp teaches about waiting

·         “Waiting is living through those moments when you do not understand what God is doing and you have no power to change your circumstances for the better.”

·         “Waiting will always reveal the true character of your heart, where you have placed your hope, your level of faith, your capacity to truly leave things up to God, your ability to rest in God and God alone.”

·         “Waiting is more than being patient as situations and other people change. Waiting is about understanding that you and I desperately need to change, and that waiting is a powerful tool of personal change. God is using the grace of waiting to change us at the core of our personhood, the heart.”

·         “Waiting is not an interruption of God’s plan. It is his plan.”

·         “When we find waiting a grueling, burdensome experience it is because we are looking for our identity, meaning, and purpose in the thing we are waiting for.”

·         “We can wait productively by being active in prayer; confessing the struggles of our heart and seeking the grace of God, celebrating God’s sovereignty and counting our blessings.

Oh Father, take these truth deep into our hearts and change us from the inside out, teach us to wait in a way that glorifies and honors you.

Seeing but not perceiving, hearing but not understanding!

I’ve been thinking about the truth of this phrase taken from Mark 4:12 because of several stories patients have shared with me over the last few months.

·         The women who said she didn’t realize how bad her mom’s dementia was until her mom couldn’t find her way home from the grocery store

·         The gentleman who said he never thought the shortness of breath and pain in his shoulder could be heart problems

·         The dad who said he had no idea his son was doing drugs until he was stopped for speeding and arrested for the possession of illegal drugs

·         The grandma who said she was floored to find out  her grandchildren’s anger issues were caused by them being abused

In each of these real life situations the person telling me the story admitted that looking back they could see the evidence that pointed to a problem but it just never registered with them.  Aren’t we all that way?   We look right past the facts seeing what we want to see and hearing what we want to hear.  We want easy and happy lives so we believe what we want to believe instead of seeing and hearing and believing what is really true. 

All these stories have made me wonder in what situations am I seeing but not perceiving   and hearing but not understanding the truth? How have I accepted the broken as the norm because I don’t want my easy and happy life messed up?  What am I accepting as true because I’m fearful of the unknown?  

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."  PS143:8

P****** Contest

One of my dearest friends has some great down home phrases that often describes a situation to a tee. The last one she mentioned was “having a conversation with X is like having a pissing contest” and she was absolutely right.  Almost every time we talk to this person it’s “a contest in which logical rational argument in the search for truth gives way to emotional and/or personal attacks for the sake of power or reputation. Usually such contests leave a feeling of ill-will amongst all involved, and prove nothing.”  Urban Dictionary

When I finally stopped laughing, because I just loved the phrase, my friend asked probably the most important questions, “What am I doing that causes us to communicate in this way? Is it just our personalities or can I do to something to change this pattern? ”

As we talked, laughed and cried through the issues we decided that it’s not just personality that causes us/them to communicate this way because James says “Is not the source (of your quarrels and conflicts) your pleasures that wage war in your members? You are envious and cannot obtain so you fight and quarrel.”  We/they get into a p****** contest because we/they are competing for power and reputation!

Changing this pattern comes by grace and by the power of the Holy Spirit working in us to deal with the sin in our hearts through confession, repentance and faith, learning to love this person more that we need their acceptance and approval and by determining that our words will be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that we may know how to answer them. 

I am so thankful for my friend’s honest expressions about life and her willingness to work through the issues together.  She truly is a Gospel Friend!