Eggshell Walking Relationships

I’ve been thinking about this post by Scotty Smith all day and it’s very convicting to realize “walking on eggshells” with someone is really living enslaved to the desire to be accepted and approved by that person. I'm amazed at how blinded I have been to this sin and how deep it penetrates my heart; how I hide behind the idol of peace and how often I have blamed the other person. It's really my sin of worshiping the praise and acceptance of this person more than the praise and acceptance of my Heavenly Father. No wonder the relationship has been so stressful; you can’t be Gospel Friends with someone you are worshipping. But praise be to God there is hope through the power of the Gospel and it begins with confession, repentance and faith!

This also makes me wonder who feels like they have to walk on eggshells around me because I am a “minefield of irritability and self-righteousness" but that’s another blog.  

A Prayer about Eggshell Walking Relationships

     Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Col. 3:12–14

     Merciful Jesus, I can’t think of a passage in any translation of the Bible that uses the image of “walking on eggshells” to describe one of the broken ways we often relate to one another. But I’m glad there’s grace and repentance for this, and the many other destructive relational dances we develop with one another. You’ve made us for honest, caring relationships and the richness of intimacy, but sin has pillaged and distorted your good plan. O, how we need the resources of the gospel and the power of your Spirit in all of our relationships.
     Jesus, as a people chosen in you before the world began, holy in you, and dearly loved by you, help us realize when others experience us as a minefield of irritability, a self-righteous porcupine, or a rigid control-meister. We don’t want to be the kind of people who make others feel the need to tiptoe around us or avoid us. Help us see, own, and deal with the ways we make ourselves inaccessible, unapproachable and unteachable. Gentle and humble us by the gospel.
     Our need doesn’t stop there, Jesus. We also need your grace when we’re on the other side of this broken style of relating—of treating others as too fragile or too dangerous to handle feedback or conflict. When we fall into this pattern, it simply reveals how little of your love we’re currently enjoying and how little of the power of the gospel is presently at work in our lives. Free us from all the ways we live enslaved to the fear and approval of people.
     Jesus, you have completely forgiven all of our sins. You have robed us with your glorious righteousness. We are fully accepted and eternally acceptable to God in you. You are irrepressibly forbearing and patient with us. You do not shame us and you will not abandon us. Never let us forget this good news for a nanosecond, for it is the power we need to love one another well.  Daily, even hourly, remind us to put on the garments of your grace: kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

    We long for the day of complete wholeness and health—when every one of our relationships will reflect the joy, peace, and intimacy of the Trinity. Until that day, give more grace to these yet-to-be-glorified hearts of ours, Jesus. So very Amen pray, in your kind and persistent name. (Scotty Smith)

Blessings and Works

“By nature, you are completely addicted to this legal method of salvation.  Even after you become a Christian by believing the Gospel, your heart is still addicted to salvation by works.  In your heart you still want to make the duties of the law come before the comforts of the Gospel…You find it hard to believe that you should get any blessing before you work for it….This is the mindset you tend to fall into: You sincerely do want to obey the laws of God. Therefore, to make sure you obey the law of God you make all of God’s blessings depend upon how well you keep his law. Some pastors tell you, you must diligently obey the law and that only when you have obeyed the law will you be safe and happy before God.  Just keep in mind, however, that if you go this route, you will never enjoy your salvation for as long as you live in this world”

Walter Marshall (Adapted and Edited by Bruce McRae)

Oh Father, how often and how easy I fall into works righteousness, seeking your love and approval by doing good things. Show me how my good works are but filthy rags before you and how they are tainted with selfishness and pride. Teach me to live clothed in the righteousness of Christ, to enjoy my salvation and to obey your law not to gain your blessings but because I already have all your blessings in Christ!

From Tim Keller’s sermon “Forgiving and Forgiven”

“Having an attitude of compassionate forgiveness is more than just an external standard we are meant to live up to, but is the organic fruit of a heart that has been melted by receiving the forgiveness of Christ.”

Oh most merciful Heavenly Father, continue to melt my heart with your forgiveness that I might have compassionate forgiveness for others. Continue to melt my heart with your love that I might have compassionate love for others. Let no root of unforgiveness or anger or  bitterness or resentment take hold of my heart but let the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control grow full and free in it.

Father's Day 2011

Today I feel so blessed! God has blessed me with a godly father who is the kindest and most gracious man I know, a husband who loves me so much he stayed when I wasn’t very loveable and a son who is growing into a godly man because of the godly example his grandfather and father are to him.  I cannot imagine my life without these three men. I am who I am today because of the love and patience of my Heavenly Father, my dad, my husband and my son.

Today & The Cross

Make sure u're preaching the gospel 2 yourself, not merely trying 2 psych yourself up. U need the cross not cheerleading (Scotty Smith)

Oh Heavenly Father, help me to preach the Gospel to myself today and not just try to psych myself up with it. I need the cross, I need your grace, I need the cleansing power of the blood of Christ, I need the power of the Holy Spirit, Your Spirit, working in me to will and to do of Your good pleasure. I need the cross today and every day not cheerleading. I need Gospel friends not co-cheerleaders. I need you!

My Hope

Remembering........My hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean on Jesus' name. 

 When Darkness veils his lovely face,
I rest on his unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
my anchor holds within the veil. 

 His oath, his covenant, his blood
supports me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
he then is all my hope and stay.

Refrain:
On Christ the solid rock I stand,
all other ground is sinking sand;
all other ground is sinking sand.

Our Hearts an Idol Factory

Martin Luther said our hearts are an idol factor, constantly exchanging one idol for another.  And Peacemaker Ministries helps us discern what they are by asking ourselves these questions: "What is it that is consuming you? What is the thing that you're convinced will make you happy? What is it you are looking for to bring you the security you crave? Look deep within yourself, spend some time on your knees, and ask Christ to reveal those people, places or things you love, fear, or trust more than Him."

This picture reminds me of how all the children of God are made in His image but our hearts are different because we struggle with different idols. Maybe this is part of the reason Paul calls us to bear with  and to encourage one anther?! Struggling with the same sin just in different ways.

Sin Bubbling Up

"Give me to view a discovered sinfulness,

to know that though my sins are crucified

they are never wholly mortified.

Hatred, malice, ill-will,

vain-glory that hungers for and hunts after

man's approval and applause,

all are crucified, forgiven,

But they rise again in my sinful heart." 

Valley of Vision

In Him we live and move and have our being

As a fish that has gotten from the shore to the sea and has all fullness of waters to move in, so shall we go to Christ for in “him we live and move and have our being.” (Acts 17:28) Valley of Vision