Seeing but not perceiving, hearing but not understanding!

I’ve been thinking about the truth of this phrase taken from Mark 4:12 because of several stories patients have shared with me over the last few months.

·         The women who said she didn’t realize how bad her mom’s dementia was until her mom couldn’t find her way home from the grocery store

·         The gentleman who said he never thought the shortness of breath and pain in his shoulder could be heart problems

·         The dad who said he had no idea his son was doing drugs until he was stopped for speeding and arrested for the possession of illegal drugs

·         The grandma who said she was floored to find out  her grandchildren’s anger issues were caused by them being abused

In each of these real life situations the person telling me the story admitted that looking back they could see the evidence that pointed to a problem but it just never registered with them.  Aren’t we all that way?   We look right past the facts seeing what we want to see and hearing what we want to hear.  We want easy and happy lives so we believe what we want to believe instead of seeing and hearing and believing what is really true. 

All these stories have made me wonder in what situations am I seeing but not perceiving   and hearing but not understanding the truth? How have I accepted the broken as the norm because I don’t want my easy and happy life messed up?  What am I accepting as true because I’m fearful of the unknown?  

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."  PS143:8

P****** Contest

One of my dearest friends has some great down home phrases that often describes a situation to a tee. The last one she mentioned was “having a conversation with X is like having a pissing contest” and she was absolutely right.  Almost every time we talk to this person it’s “a contest in which logical rational argument in the search for truth gives way to emotional and/or personal attacks for the sake of power or reputation. Usually such contests leave a feeling of ill-will amongst all involved, and prove nothing.”  Urban Dictionary

When I finally stopped laughing, because I just loved the phrase, my friend asked probably the most important questions, “What am I doing that causes us to communicate in this way? Is it just our personalities or can I do to something to change this pattern? ”

As we talked, laughed and cried through the issues we decided that it’s not just personality that causes us/them to communicate this way because James says “Is not the source (of your quarrels and conflicts) your pleasures that wage war in your members? You are envious and cannot obtain so you fight and quarrel.”  We/they get into a p****** contest because we/they are competing for power and reputation!

Changing this pattern comes by grace and by the power of the Holy Spirit working in us to deal with the sin in our hearts through confession, repentance and faith, learning to love this person more that we need their acceptance and approval and by determining that our words will be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that we may know how to answer them. 

I am so thankful for my friend’s honest expressions about life and her willingness to work through the issues together.  She truly is a Gospel Friend!