P****** Contest

One of my dearest friends has some great down home phrases that often describes a situation to a tee. The last one she mentioned was “having a conversation with X is like having a pissing contest” and she was absolutely right.  Almost every time we talk to this person it’s “a contest in which logical rational argument in the search for truth gives way to emotional and/or personal attacks for the sake of power or reputation. Usually such contests leave a feeling of ill-will amongst all involved, and prove nothing.”  Urban Dictionary

When I finally stopped laughing, because I just loved the phrase, my friend asked probably the most important questions, “What am I doing that causes us to communicate in this way? Is it just our personalities or can I do to something to change this pattern? ”

As we talked, laughed and cried through the issues we decided that it’s not just personality that causes us/them to communicate this way because James says “Is not the source (of your quarrels and conflicts) your pleasures that wage war in your members? You are envious and cannot obtain so you fight and quarrel.”  We/they get into a p****** contest because we/they are competing for power and reputation!

Changing this pattern comes by grace and by the power of the Holy Spirit working in us to deal with the sin in our hearts through confession, repentance and faith, learning to love this person more that we need their acceptance and approval and by determining that our words will be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that we may know how to answer them. 

I am so thankful for my friend’s honest expressions about life and her willingness to work through the issues together.  She truly is a Gospel Friend!